this ones for the girls love all you pretty angels hope somebody kisses you under your favorite tree soon

the first time someone told me i was worthless i was still leaving teeth under my pillow for the tooth fairy and it was less of words and more of evil hands in places they shouldn’t have been
the first time someone told me i was a slut was when i learned to stop protesting because the quicker it came, the quicker it left, and this meant i liked it
the first time someone told me i was dirty taught me no one wants a used tissue, a torn book, a stained sweater
i learned to flinch whenever someones hand was near my face, i learned that love was found in muffled cries and ignored no’s, i learned that i deserved the bruises no one ever saw
the first time i knew i was a tease was when my skirt was too short but apparently my age was not too low
the first time i knew i was meat was when the streets of my neighborhood became a jungle and no camouflage could shield me from the eyes of the hungry predators
the first time i knew it wasn’t about what i liked was when i bought the jeans that he said he wanted to rip off of me instead of the jeans that made me feel like something more
i learned that giving never means getting but that i still have to give anyway, i learned that i was only ever wanted bent over something, i learned that i was nothing but an object to use
the first time i felt what disgust is, was when the fact that i could have been his daughter didn’t stop him from making a point of screaming across the street about my ‘cute little ass’
the first time i felt what hatred is, was when i realized it didn’t matter if i was in a bodysuit because he would still always be able to do what he wanted and i would have no way of stopping it
the first time i felt what awakening is, was when my best friend walked in to class crying, 20 minutes late because she tried to lose the man who had followed her for 10 straight blocks, but she still got detention
i learned that my body was a piece of private artwork that the public thought it had a right to, i learned that it was my responsibility to know how to stab someone using just my keys, to know the routes to take and the routes not to, to know how to keep my own self safe against dangers that should never have existed in the first place, i learned that i didn’t like it
the first time i did something about it was when the eye that winked at me and the mouth that yelled ‘come to daddy’ both turned black and blue from connecting with my fist
the first time i did something about it was when i watched from across the room a turned back not notice their drink get cloudy with what would later have turned into years of devastation and i poured those years over the head of the one who almost got away with it
the first time i did something about it was when someone tried to take my body for keeping and instead i did the world a favor and took away their ability to ever reproduce
i learned that i do not belong to anyone and that its okay to start a scene on the train when a stranger whispers about how good i must look naked and that yes maybe ill go home and cry and scream afterwards
but god knows my cry could water the most lush of gardens
and god knows my scream is so fucking powerful the world will shake with it
because i am not an object, i am not a sex toy, i am not a piece of meat, i am not simply ’woman’
maybe I am ‘bitch”
and hell yea i totally could be ‘slut’
but the amount of times ive shared a bed with someone else define me no more than the size of my bra or the way that i dress
because i am so much fucking more than that too
i am a rising mountain cracking the ground from underneath your feet
no fuck that im a building volcano
you think rejection was bad wait till you fucking see what it feels like to have me explode on you with all my fire my rock my destruction
lets see who’s prey then lets see who controls the game lets see what ‘man’ is when all the stereotypes have melted away all the standards have been crushed all the expectations have been more than fucking exceeded
when im tall and proud and searing hot, touch me and i promise you, you will be burned
let’s see who rises from the ash when my eruption is done when my outer layer is shed when i am revealed in all of my true form
me: the volcano
me: the explosion
me: the self-owned slutty bitch who is proud to be called WOMAN