im a self hating narcissist
a cynical romantic
a sociopathic empath
a extroverted introvert

i believe in magic but don’t show me anything you can’t back up with science
i believe in kindness but don’t tell me cruelty doesn’t get you everywhere
i believe in love but don’t talk at me about how “if two people are meant for each other”
i am a contradiction in the most minute way possible i am a snake that you always see coming i am filling you with both fascination and disgust i am lying through my teeth i am only ever telling you the truth i am a contradiction in the most significant way possible watch and see
kiss me and you’ll feel like you’re being slapped
whisper i love you and you’ll dream about burning me alive
cut me and you’ll find yourself covered in molten gold
you pucker your lips expecting to find lust on the other side instead you find hatred
you bear your heart expecting to have it be returned instead you find it ripped out
you wield your knife expecting to bring me pain instead you find yourself rich as well as the only one hurting
what is the point of me you ask
who am i you ask
why am i so predictable why am i so full of myself why am i so delusional you ask
i exist so that you don’t have to i’m alive so that you can keep on being dead i am the car wreck you like to look at from the safety of your locked car, the tragedy that thankfully didn’t strike anywhere near you i am your reminder that you are normal that you are right that you are good i am everything you know you always wanted and everything you will always hate
i am godforsaken i am godforsaken i am godforsaken
i am god