lets pretend we’re at the local stand up hour at your favorite bar
lets pretend i get up on stage just like you tried to get me to all those times that you probably have forgotten

and why wouldn’t you forget when instead you could remember the way she looked in that dress that same fucking night, the way she probably looks nice when she’s asleep dreaming of something other than greedy hands and cocaine eyes
and forgive me but do you still smell like clean laundry do your eyes still wrinkle when you laugh do you fucking trace figure eights into her skin too
and forgive me but i should really be getting to my joke now its just that fresh laundry was always my favorite scent and my knees would tremble every time i heard you laugh and ive never wanted to be an ice rink more because maybe then the figure eights you traced in me would have stayed for longer
and now here i go and now how did i manage to end up standing on the same creaky floorboard in my room except this time its 6 months later and this time my skin isn’t sticky and this time the air feels cold
the same way every last particle of me felt the day you looked at me with empty eyes and told me your heart no longer beat alongside mine
the same way mama looked at daddy after she had done the laundry and he had painted pictures of mamas lips on his collar because he missed her so much
except this time he had used the color of the next door lady’s lip cream for his artwork
and now heres the punchline are you ready because its hilarious how i have managed to fuck everything up so badly once again
bad to the point where i am biting my tongue till i can taste the irony of the way that im at the back of the room pretending that its not like you wouldn’t even notice me if i was screaming
bad to the point where they are dragging me off the fucking stage and im thinking that maybe screaming ‘why won’t you love me back’ over and over again was a little too dark for tonights group of freshmen from the nearby university’s chemistry club
but see no don’t you think they would understand it most because they should know what 14 shots of liquid with a percentage of alcohol higher than any of their intelligence quotients does to a person whose blood is already lacking after bleeding most of it out in the bathtub the night before
then again maybe it’s time i checked myself into a place where tonights routine would be the opening number for a whole other act full of batshit crazy
and maybe this is the start to my big break can you imagine what they would title me what do you think i would wear and of course you would come see the sequel to my show right baby?
i mean after all you did always say dark humor was your favorite and i don’t see it getting any darker than this hospital room do you