4/15/17

i’m sad because i feel like i’ll never REALLY fit in 100% with anyone or anywhere and i’m sad because i think it’s so easy for people to think they love me in the moment and when the moment passes it was a dumb idea to even consider in the first place and i’m sad because i’m failing statistics but how do you explain the complete and utter lack of motivation surmising from the hatred and resentment and drudgery all existing in a building that seems like a 10 by 10 jail cell and also the entire world at the same time and im sad because everyone ive ever cared about has probably cared about 50 million other people more and im sad because all i really need is that one person and that one soul and one heart and one mind to link up to mine to make it feel like all the pain and tolerance and annoyances are worth it

i mean if i could just lay in bed with you heads aligned on the pillow & stare at the ceiling while you tell me about your life from beginning to end then i would take all the Friday night closing shifts in the world and i would readily accept the blurred line between friendship and parasitism i often notice and it would be okay that humans as a whole race were epically flawed because you were and are and always will be epically flawless and so im sad because you also were and are and always will be not mine