i wish i could begin to explain everything it is i feel

for one its love

and a lot of resentment i think too. i see the flaws that we as a society deem its ok to glance over. i see the too drunk girl being taken advantage of i see a whole room of people who are just there to convince one another of something about themselves that they dont even know yet i see a human who i somehow want so badly to pick up and swaddle into this beautiful universe and say all the things i want so badly to say but in this universe the other person wants to hear them

i wonder if you can explain the feeling of being in love with a person who doesnt exist, as in their responses never mean what you are wanting them to mean, as in they r never thinking what you are wanting them to think, as in you’re a fun night not a whole life

my chest is heavy with the understanding of all that it as as it is now

i know everything is as it should be. very fragile pristine its as if we all exist as collection pieces in somebodys grandmas china drawer. i know that from here there is only progress, today i quite literally saw roads close off for me, and now there r only empty paths to replace them

i see an entire universe unknown to like so many people and its just.. never the same after because how do you go back

you dont

our love was soft n gentle n managed to make me shake like a leaf in january

our love was soft n gentle n massively fucked up n most likely 90% in my head

our love was not a love

a drug is a drug is a drug

i wanted to tell you how much i had to say but i also wanted to tell you how much i almost never wanna say it